4 guardians – the pushers

We speak a lot about group work, or process work, and from time to time about the “map”.

There are a few layers to this map or you may call it a hologram.
The first layer is that of 4 women, these can also viewed as the 4 directions, it’s the first layer because in order to establish the basis for group work those 4 directions or 4 women need to be found and gathered.

The task to find them is given to the HEART, a central figure whose rule is to find those 4 women and establish the first layer of group work, to hold the centre.
They are guardians, but I call them pushers because this is what they are,
I got that name from a TV series called “Alphas” where one of the team has the power to “push” people to her will, this reminded me of the women I live with (I guess every man feels that way to some degree).


The 4 guardians are a known motif one that is portrayed in many cultures-

The living creatures, living beings, or
Hayyoth (Hebrew חַיּוֹת)


This picture strikes the very same imagery in me, Ezekiel sees them in his vision as god’s throne bearers. That to me strikes a very familiar chord, the 4 women that flank the nagual.

In group work the first ring is upheld by those 4 guardian women, those I call the pushers.
In Toltec tradition the atlantes in Tula are seen as two rows of women, the first are the stalkers these are the front women, those we call guardians the other row is the 4 dreamers and those are called the second ring, the very thing the guardians guard.

I live with two pushers, although I have worked with more, my everyday life is with two of them – the north and the south.

The thing each of them “push” is different, the north “pushes” the story, we name her the caller of intent because she can call things into being, change situations around, her role is not to bring the vision but to call it into being, she is genuine and makes every situation she touches deeper and more meaningful, everything comes out with a meta level, she walks by the lamp posts and they come on she brings light.

The south is a the real pusher, at least the southerly woman I live with. She is the real go-getter she actually pushes people, she pushes to manifest things that are called for, and she pushes situations around and pushes people about.

But as all of this is very archaic and somewhat abstract let’s look at a little story from our everyday life, to see if I can demonstrate what I mean:

Before we left to go on the road to Italy I promised one of our yurt campsite clients I will come and measure his yurts for new covers and have a little chat about the next season.

It just happened that he lives in yorkshire, and we (were) in South Wales.
We already sold the car on eBay but as the new owner did not collect yet, we decided to drive that instead of one of the vans.

The next morning me and the south wind were driving, looking for a place to get a cup of coffee, I spotted one and slowed to turn, as I was turning a car smashed into us from behind at full speed, we both never wear seat belts, but did not hit anything (amazingly). We stepped outside to a very apologetic vauxhall owner, her car was in ruin, the engine was in the boot type of thing, the airbags fully out.

I looked at our Renault it seemed to be ok, except the bumper, but it was hard to tell as it was suspended over her car, so the first thing I said to the south wind is – “let’s drive off her car shall we?”.

And so we did.
We exchanged details and drove on the women took full responsibility.
We decided to drive on, yes the bumper was smashed but it held, the broken side light was working still, and the door was not that bent.

A minute down the road we sew a peacock standing which was strange for those of you that remember our earlier post about the peacock angel.

Anyway to cut the story short, we already sold the car and the new owner was collecting the next day, we thought to call him and tell him we smashed his new car, but the south wind decided to try her hand at some pushing.

We still had a 4 hour drive to yorkshire, and 5 hour back home, but that was nothing for her, she magically found someone selling the same back door (same green colour) on eBay and him on the route back home, she managed to convince him to sell her the rest of the parts too the bumper and the light and end the auction early, maybe that was not so hard seeing she was buying half the car!
But for a £100 it was a bargain.

So we drove to yorkshire and measured the yurts


It was 3 o’clock or so. Still a 3 hour drive at best to the breakers, so the south wind called the guy and talked him into waiting until 5.30 but even so the traffic jams around Manchester proved too long. , What issued next was some amazing time bending to get to him in time, she did call and asked if he would wait until 6pm!, but that was getting too much, even though he was under compulsion (being “pushed”).

We got to him at 5.39pm we must have broken the speed limit through half of England.
Got the parts (minus the exhaust silencer box) and drove home, got up early and put the car in order the new owner did not know anything was amiss.
He did ask about the silencer but we assured him we could not get one yesterday but will send him one In the post (and we did), so you are thinking to yourself …… wow, that was some pushing you are thinking, right?

But best thing is that the money from the woman’s insurance, paid the south wind to take her van all the way to Italy with some change left over. Now that is what I call pushing.
Hope the woman did not mind sacrificing her new car for that, she did say she did not get along with new ones, and she did have comprehensive insurance so she will get another.

On the way to Italy we stopped in Germany to visit the south wind’s mum, during that visit her mum showed us book she only gives her daughters when they get married, the family POWER book.

The south wind said she is not planing on get married, and that she feels like she already found her family, her mum being Christian said she will have to wait in that case, I cracked
Some good jokes about Finding a husband for her, which were
Slightly lost on German ears.

The book was written by her mum, and was of anecdotes of the kids, short little stories, some of which are only funny if you are German.
Too many of the anecdotes featured the south wind, after all it was a family with 8 siblings, maybe another feature of being a pusher.

But the best little tale had the south wind when she was four or five telling her mum that she remembered something from being inside her belly, her mum replied, “that is something I must hear”.
The south wind said “I remember exploding out of the egg an pushing on your belly”.
I was flabbergasted, I realised “Pushers” must be so from conception, or at least this one seems to be.


I snapped a picture quickly to “steal” that one anecdote atleast, but it turned out the her mum was so moved by our group work stories and the similarities with monastic life she gave her daughter the book, saying “in your case I will make an exception”.

That is pushers in a nutshell.

Treasure cave

We dipped into Germany on route back down to Italy, but decided to go back to France and travel the smaller roads again.
France has abundant amount of Amazing park ups and going slower allows us to go deeper, so although the going was good in Germany and the free motorways were quick we are now back in France.

Here are some pics of treasure cave (so called in French) which just happens to be next to our last park up.

The legend says there is a treasure buried deep in the cave, the cave goes on and on, at one point when you are crawling in the dark you can hear some strange singing, it’s eerie, like a band of faeries, the legend says a wyvern guards the treasure, I did not see one, but I did follow the singing to it’s source, which happened to be a little pool of the clearest water, of course I drank some.

I love caving.

The other side of the road there is a shrine in another cave that has been worshipped since time immemorial today it’s a dedicated to the Virgin Mary, but it used to be worshipped by Druids before, and by countless people before that probably.

Both are on route (d937) to pontarlier,
The lime stone channels by the river are quite impressive too.






Living on the road is an art, having been to the Adventure Overland Show I was amazed how people design their vehicles. So much high tech so little low tech.


Each to their own I like to see how other people do things. We prefer going low tech.
The road is meaningful to us on other ways than the places we visit.

Having learned process work on the road, we like to travel it on an inner plane too.
Its hard to explain, we use the alternating psyche feilds to move us into different spaces.
It could be a hard art to master.
We tend to avoid the big cities as they don’t allow one to open enough, and parking in one can be challenging with trucks.

But that is not what I mean, I mean using the road to shift the inner core to a desired state, the mountains are used to go higher inside, lakes and rivers to cleanse.
It’s not always the “amazing” spot that moves one though, the earth has secret places and portals and one of those can open even at the most unexpected of places the rainbow comes at the truckers yard, a mysterious garden dwarf appears to be standing behind the truck



But….. That is still not what I mean, I mean living on the road can be practiced as an art of conscious living, shifting, learning when to move and when to stay but not in order to just survive, to use the road consciously to move yourself into deeper awareness.

Sometimes driving into the night is the correct thing, it pushes the boundaries, sometimes it’s holding a spot in nature for days in end, allowing the inner process to take over, then moving back and landing in the city to sharpen up the social self again, that art of doing conscious work in a group on the road was named Trans-formation by someone I love, because it the Trans (movement) and formation (grouping together) in one.

The earth to me is the whole dream, the natural and that that is not.

But when it comes to living on the road we prefer to go low tech, to cut our wood In the forest, and have a wood burner to heat us up.



Nomadism 101

It’s packing time.
like I said before nomadism gets glorified sometimes, those that practice it know there is a deeper truth.
That truth is that one needs to learn to be more pliable, to accept more.

We have been living in a little Valley in the hills of Powys, Wales for two years now.
It is called Cwmbach because it is that- a small Valley.
We can’t see any other houses and it is very quiet here which sits well with us because we need loads of open space for our type of lifestyle.


But finally it is time to go, the process of leaving a place I feel is important, the last little while is one long Jewish goodbye.
I like leaving the place as if I was never here.
Its an amazing process I feel, in fact my favourite time travelling is that moment you pack the reality, that last day, there is a serenity in the air, ones heart is blown open is letting go time, time to shed the skin of a stagnant life.

You light a big fire early in the morning to help transform all the stagnant energy, and then as we go along everything gets burnt, the cupboards, the chairs, everything that is not coming along, it’s the fire day, without it I believe the processes is much harder.


When I used to live in a Tipi it was all about leaving the pitch totally clear, the process has been now transferred to leaving any reality, there are boxes and boxes and this amazing processes of letting it all go takes place, because we travel by trucks only what we can take comes along, so every year or so the reality gets renewed, I love that!


Everything goes into the truck or rather everything does not go into the truck, it gets left beind some people like to take everything I like leaving it behind, like the words of the song-wondering star-…..”I know where hell is, hell is in hello, heaven is goodbye forever, it’s time for me to go”


The Move

We are great believers in omens, and believe those can come in any form.

King Solomon was reputed to be able to speak the language of animals and everything that lives. I find the flight of birds, or the appearance of certain animals on my path to speak to me directly, one can learn to read the interplay of energy as a map.

It’s the way the world speaks directly: it could be what a certain tee-shirt says just after I think of certain thing, or a flyer, even traffic signs speak! anything talks: one just need to be tuned into the inner process and the world does not just seem to be talking back, it does.

The other day we started our southerly immigration.  we always have been nomadic and don’t usually stay longer in a place than a year.
So two years in the same spot here in Wales was a first for us, I felt those itchy feet a time or two, but it was a good training towards getting our own place one day.

This time we are on the move to the south, to a warmer climate, to set up the zodiac tent as a centre for conscious group work. its the culmination of 18 years of group process work, we have spoke about it before here and here.

The first leg of the journey started by taking our biggest truck, full to the brim with zodiac struts and connectors with canvas and the rest of the heavy things we own.

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Mercedes 1823

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The carriage of baggage

We drove it to Italy, where we intend to buy land and create a unique centre for group work, the sort of campsite we always tried to create with our customers. One that has real nomadism at it’s centre and real interactions. not just “glamping”, but where there is a real experience which is not about just getting away. 

at times Nomadism gets over glorified I guess, so it is hard to find out that really living on the road has a high level of fear attached. One is always dealing with the facf that main society is settled and has everything laid out for it, it is getting harder and harder in certain places to simply be, even to fill your water butts, but for those that still do travel that way I feel it is worth it, in fact living with the fear, is worth it.

Dealing with the fact one has not got everything laid out is great. I love the moment of having to deal with things in a way that has never been done before without the routines: waking up at 6 o’clock to drive through the alps to discover your water from yesterday is bad, and filling it up again in some mountain stream, using the hot kettle to do your laundry in a pot, the fact is, we really need very little to get by with, and that something in us loves that simplicity, we are all nomads in our roots, at least I am.

Because the first place I went to when I started travelling 18 years ago was Bologna I decided we will use that as way point, and store the truck there while we drive the rest of the vehicles down (we have quite a few live-in vehicles).

Crossing over back to the continent was nice, those never ending horizons again, and the alpine villages of France made me remember living in the road here before a few years ago.

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Alps on the way to mount Blanc

We aimed to cross into italy through Switzerland because the mountain pass of st. Bernard’ held a certain meaning, like napoleon’s army, but with difference.

I believe that the first sequence that one goes through in any given sequence in life acts as a map, a blue print for what will happen in it.
So entering italy was the same, I looked for the opening sequence, part of what I do and art the of how I “converse” with the forces at large, maybe some would find it strange, I find it strange others don’t.

Because the pass is in the south of Switzerland, we would have had to drive the truck through the country.
At the French border we were assured (by the French) that there is no problem, so we drove on. the truck in front seem to move and the gate was wide open. we thought …… sure here we go too.

We drove through, but just as we got to the barrier (at speed) the barrier went down, but because we were driving quite quickly it opened up again. I guess the security camera told the operator to lift it quickly or it be broken, the swiss guard woman did not like that, no no no.

Long story short was that we needed to pay tax for the contents to pass through Switzerland, and there being no customs officers at weekends would have meant we had to wait ’til monday.
There seemed to be no one at all at the smaller second border crossing we attempted, so we drove through, feeling victorious but after a mile or so got stopped and turned around. Apparently the swiss don’t guard the border crossing they guard a mile into the country. The reason for this is that they can then fine you for driving without customs clearance!

Sometimes guidance comes from the police!
The border man said “cross at mt blanc”.
The problem was that my co-driver felt like we have to pass through the St. Bernard pass, to open up the door in a certain way.
And we could not wait until Monday, it was night and we were tired and no answer seems to be at hand until….. I realised she could cross over into Switzerland and pass through the at Bernard pass, and I can drive through mt blanc.


passed the pass with lines of power

This way both doors are open.
Both roads go down into Aosta in italy, they are two ways through the same mountain chain through the mt. blanc (French) and at St. Bernard pass (switzerland).
We ended up crossing same time, and met in Aosta, problem solved and guidance looked after, the double door to the south.

It was an amazing crossing, once we figured it out everything seems to be In place.

The flight of birds seem to echo that too. as I was on the phone telling someone I’m crossing at mt Blanc and just as I uttered the words, a massive buzzard jumped out of the rock near the road and almost left its talons on the windscreen.

The other side of the mountain there was another world…… a warmer world.  I could see why for some of us in the group crossing into it would be hard, having lived in the UK for a while. once you enter the Italian psyche it’s different, some northern european find it intimidating, because its alive.

Italy is very open and calls one to surrender into being at ease with the people around, something which is hard for Northern Europeans, coming out of UK it can even induce a culture shock.

However for me it felt like coming home, back to the warmth of the Mediterranean and the good food, open people and more than all the sun, which seemed to forget it was Mid October.

We drove to Bologna, which is one of my favourite cities in the world, full of young life because of the amount of students that frequent its universities, and it was nice to sit back in Piazza verde 18 years after being there first, when I first started travelling, and it seemed a new world has re-opened. it was nice to know I’m taking our work south beyond that point of origin to the warmth, because we have endured quite a lot of coldness in the last years.

Bologna seems to echo this In the omens it fed back to me.


The best of which was  in the  form of what we call “the map” we have discussed it earlier In connection to the black madonna of le-puy en valley.
This time it was a flyer, that read:m
(In Italian) a new world is possible, the wind blows where it wants.
The “map” seem to have a bird flying south emanating from it, and like I said we are great believers In omens, and that one of the “map” is even more special, it is a symbol for the group body, showing all the positions in it, or the ultimate number of individuals that comprises it.